Mets one-time superstar turned head case (literally) David Wright returned to action this week after being concussed and landing on the 15-day disabled list. Sporting the goofiest headgear since the Special Olympics bicylce race, Wright immediately contributed to a Mets loss, as usual, but needlessly singling in a run in the first inning. But the buzz after the game was that Wright’s performance, or shall we say, signature look, immediately landed him several movie offers.

Wright was immediately offered the lead role in “The Great Gazoo,” the story of the little green Martian that Fred Flintstone befriended after smoking copious amounts of weed.  Movie mogul Harvey Weinstein personally called Wright after the game to discuss the project. He spoke to Baseball Without Boundaries immediately thereafter.

“Let’s face it, the guy has movie star looks, but he kinda sucks right now. Oooh, the best player on an injury-plagued team – not exactly Field of Dreams kinda shit there, right,” he said. “So he comes out in this goofy Gazoo helmet and  - BAM! – it hits me. David Wright is my guy.”

Weinstein would not comment on why he was watching a Mets-Rockies game in early September, and muttered about “having people to do this shit for me.”

Almost immediately after Weinstein’s call, Rick Moranis and Mel Brooks got Wright on a conference call. They asked him to star in a new HBO series, Spaceballs, based on the movie that starred both men.

“We are really excited because it’s a comedy, but typical of HBO, it’s a show with heart,” Brooks explained. “The show is about an astronaut with testicular cancer. And when I think of cancer, I think of the Mets. And when I think of testicles, I think of David Wright. Who doesn’t.”

These are not Wright’s first entertainment offers. In 1998, he was approached by Showtime to play a supporting (so to speak) role in a show called “Queer as Folk.”  Wright politely declined saying “Aw shucks fellas, I’m all for romanticizing butt sex, but I’m only 16. And I’d have to talk to my Momma and my minister first, and I don’t think they will take kindly to sodomy. They’re kinda old fashioned that way.”

Word spread quickly in the Mets clubhouse.

“Gazoo? That shit is funny,” said Wright’s teammate Gary Sheffield. “I didn’t think there was anything that could make that boy any whiter, but god damn the Great Gazoo. I hope he does the movie. I’ll be smoking marijuana rolled in his baseball cards if he does that shit. Gazoo. That shit is funny.”

Manager Jerry Manuel was nonplussed.

“Well…..uh….. we gonna have to battle…..We’ll find someone else to play tomorrow….Someone gotta step up,” he said before being interrupted by PR geniuses who have fouled everything else up this season. “Oh, he ain’t hurt? Well I’ll be a monkey's uncle! Oh wait I already am."

Manuel was not criticized by the New York media for his racist comment, because he told the press core "Oh, come on fellas. Uncle Jerry said it's okay to laugh. It's like the gangsta stuff. Shit, I could drop the n-word and Omar got my back!"

Wright said he will not decide about the offers until he returns to New York